


Never Forgets What I Lost

by Onceyourempire



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alpha and Beta sessions meet, Dag this is old, Gen, Ollies outie into the sun, oldish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-16
Updated: 2012-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-02 01:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onceyourempire/pseuds/Onceyourempire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When they met, most of them got their parents back, but not quite.</p><p>Dave?</p><p>Dave lost everything, over and over, every day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Forgets What I Lost

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of old, so I'm....thinking it's from around where.....we thought Jane could be dead? Certainly before we knew what Dirk's name was. I also wrote a Beta!Bro/Alpha!Dave fic so that's being beta'd and hopefully that'll be up soon. The lyrics I based this on are from Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day because I'm indie. The actually lyrics are "As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost, wake me up when september ends."
> 
> YEAH okay enough of this I'm awkward.

They thought they'd get them back. When they won- when Dave won- he thought he'd open a door and there Bro would be, as he had always been. Not dead, not bloody. Just Bro, a small smirk on his face.

They all got them back, in a sense, but not the sense they wanted. John got his dad, but it wasn't his dad anymore. This Dad looked at him and remembered a different universe and a different time and loved him as much as he had in that other place but in this universe he'd had a daughter too and she was dead. Jane's Dad had been raised by a single father, not a single mother. Jane's Dad's guardian had been John. Jane's Dad wasn't John's Dad. It was as close as he would get and he accepted it with happy tears in his eyes and a dopey smile but they all knew it wasn't the same.

Bec wasn't going to come around anytime soon, and Jade's grandpa was now her grandson. She got it the best, really- she was already Jake's friend and they already adored each other like they were brother and sister. It wasn't the same as Jade's grandpa or Jake's grandma but it was just as good, in its own fashion.

Rose's Mom became her friend. They were still passive-agressive but there was a more playful air to it. It made both girls realize how much they had missed out on with their own mothers. It was painful but it was okay.

But Dave- Dave felt like he'd lost everything.

Bro- or whatever he was called in this world- wasn't his Bro anymore. He was close but he'd been raised by an older Dave. He hadn't gone through what Dave's Bro had. He was...different. A little more open. A little less sarcastic. It was weird. He liked this Bro well enough, but Dave didn't want this Bro. He wanted his brother. He wanted a guardian and a friend and a brother, not a friend who was just lost and hurt and confused as he was. Dave felt an ache in his chest every second, where all his insecurities and fear and deep-seated emotions sat. Bro had kept him safe and helped him make it okay to not be perfect. He and Bro were on the same wavelength, the same pitch. Other Bro had been the same way with Other Dave. Their pitches, however, were just far enough apart to set them apart.

This wasn't winning. This was losing, over and over and over again. Dave had nothing left. All he had were his friends and they were almost as broken as he was. They couldn't fix themselves, let alone try to piece together the terrible neurotic mess that Dave Strider had become.

The trolls had it easy. They got their ancestors who they had dreamed about for so long. They became friends with their heroes.

All Dave got was what his brother could have been and the differences between the two shoved in his face every day. When he dreamed it was easier. He dreamed of his past, his home, his good times. But the dreams always ended with Bro bleeding his life out and Dave being left alone.

He just wanted this never-ending day to be over.

He wanted to go home. He was tired of Sburb, of everyone and everything.

Even the loneliness would be better than this.


End file.
